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Thursday, July 12, 2007

Marcus Bent Got Screwed Because His Girlfriend Did First

Marcus Bent is an English soccer player.

Danielle Lloyd honestly thought Winston Churchill was the first black president of the United States (“There’s a statue of him near me – it’s black”), but that’s neither here nor there. The ex-Miss Great Britain was also the only thing about Bent that anyone cared about -until he dumped her for having a “marathon sex session” with 50 Cent and telling the tabloids about it.

Danielle, 23, met rap hardman Fiddy at his Hammersmith Apollo gig last week. And just hours later Fiddy, 32, invited her back to his £2,500-per-night suite at the swanky Landmark Hotel in West London..."Danielle was bragging to pals about how big he was - all over."

"She said he's a mega-star in more ways than one." And according to a bystander: "She looked a bit wobbly after her late night."


It must suck to be Marcus Bent. No one knows who you are; your dumb, hot girlfriend is telling the world she had to find another man to make her walk funny; and the worst part is that 50 Cent already made you look like a pussy by default – banging your girlfriend just made it sweeter for him.


Read more!

9 comments:

Signal to Noise said...

There are a few lines from Blazing Saddles that would be completely appropriate here. Not sure whether "where the white women at" or "is it twoo how dey zey you people are...gifted?" is better.

Ryan said...

She was just big news in the UK earlier this year for being a racist...

Anonymous said...

Fiddy to ho: Xcuse me while I whip this out.

SlickBomb said...

S2N, you made me do this:

"You shifty ass nigga. They you was hung."

"They was right."

Phony Gwynn said...

I heard he's into having sex, and not into making love.

John said...

posh would never do this to becks. what they have is real.
ps. phony gwynn, you made me laugh.

Big Blue Monkey said...

I don't know--wouldn't the Blazing Saddles jokes make a little more sense if the wronged Marcus Bent were white?

I think we can assume that Danielle Lloyd has seen a veritable rainbow of phalluses in her short life. And if she's raving about Fitty, then we can assume that Marcus had already deflated, as it were, the stereotype.

Signal to Noise said...

BBM - sure. there are plenty of wells to work here, especially with the Magic Stick.

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