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Sunday, March 11, 2007

Take Me to the Ballgame. Please?

Alright, here’s the deal: On my list of “Things to do Before I Die” is making sure I see one Red Sox/Yankees game at Fenway and one at Yankee Stadium. Living in New York, I’ve gotten to see them play twice at the Stadium. Overall, it wasn’t as eventful as I expected it to be - I’m more than confident that it will be better in Boston (we’re still allowed to drink in our bleachers), but I have yet to experience it.

The closest I’ve come was in October 2004 when I got tossed an extra ticket to Fenway last minute for what was supposed to be game 3 of the ALCS. If you remember correctly, Brandon Arroyo was facing off against Pedro Martinez Bronson Arroyo was starting for us, but the game was postponed because of a monsoon, during which I was stuck at a rest stop on the Mass Pike for 2 hours waiting fo…nevermind, I’m clearly not over it yet. (When the game was played, Arroyo finished with a 27 ERA in all of two innings, giving up 6 runs. That was awesome.). With all that said, here is the reason for this post:

It seems that the Spain Train is at her antics again with the help of a local Chi-town bar. Now, I may not have a name to create a catchy moniker, but I don’t see why I can’t use *my* good looks and huge rack awesome personality to get myself into sporting events…it’s practically the American way. So that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going to take a page out of Sarah Spain’s Manual for the D Lister and put myself out there for the getting. Or taking. Or whatever.

Please hear me out: I’m not going to auction myself off and make you pay me. I’ll let you take me for free! The Yankees are in Boston Friday-Sunday, April 21st-23rd. I can attend any one (or more?) of the three games, I can get myself to Boston, will have a place to stay, can afford my own concessions and even a few beers for you in a display of sincere gratitude. Now, if I already know you and you have a season package that includes one such series (I’m looking in your direction, Taylor), that would be ideal. But if I don’t know you and you’d like to go to a game with someone who isn’t completely unfortunate looking, just shoot me a message on myspace telling me why you would like to take me – for free, remember – and I’ll let you know if I pick you! Sound like a deal? I may not have Axe body spray behind me on this, but I’ll, like, buy you some or something.

If it’s fair for Sarah, can’t it be fair for me too, right?

Read more!


Catchy Nickname said...

Sarah Spain's Manual for the D-Lister? Aren't you giving her just a little too much credit? If that's true, Kathy Griffin must be rolling over in her grave. Unless, of course, the "D" simply refers to the Spain Train's bra size.

As far as your quest for tickets, I think you're golden. I mean, who's going to turn down a chance at beers and body spray?

MCBias said...

If I lived nearby and had an extra ticket, I'd do it. Since neither is true, I'll adopt the sore loser approach, behave in an elitist manner, and make fun of females who like sports. Kidding!