Trump Never Would Have Won It

I know you’ve been fretting because I haven’t been around. And in all honesty, that doesn’t surprise me. It always causes some concern when I just fall off the face of the earth. But, hey, that’s life when your day job wants to give you, like, work and stuff. So while others get to sex it up in Atlanta, I’m going to come back to you, hopefully with a vengeance, live from cold, damp New York City and provide you with wholesome sports entertainment goodness. You know what they say, right? When the cat’s away its employees mail it in for the whole week. So here we go!

Let’s kick off the morning late afternoon with a quick update on that whole “will Donald Trump shave his head” question. The answer, sadly, is no. We’ve got many comb over-filled years left.

I truly thought I had it all figured out: Trump wanted a way out from under his famed hairdo and what better way to go about it than by making money? It would pan out to be a win-win situation. Shockingly, and for the first time ever, I was incorrect. Trump’s rep Bobby Lashley defeated Vince McMahon’s Umaga. McMahon is now bald. And with hindsight being 20/40 (I’ll never fully understand the draw of the WWE), I can see why Trump never would have won. From wrestleview.com:

After the match, Vince McMahon had a shocked look on his face. Austin then grabbed McMahon and threw him back in the ring. Shane attacked Austin from behind, but Austin was able to overcome it and take out Shane with a Stunner. We then see a shot of McMahon crawling on his knees around the ring towards the ramp. Austin raises the hands of Trump and Lashley in the ring. McMahon then smiles as he has escaped up the ramp. Lashley then leaves the ring and grabs McMahon. Lashley puts McMahon on his shoulder and throws him back in the ring. Austin gives McMahon a Stunner and they put McMahon in the barbers chair. McMahon screamed he didn't deserve this as they tied him down. Trump and Lashley then started shaving McMahon's head as Austin held him back. After they shaved a good portion of it off, Trump and Lashley put shaving cream on his head and shaved it even more with razors. Austin stayed in the background drinking a beer watching the shaving go down. McMahon cried out that they would all pay for this. Lashley then got a mirror and showed McMahon his new bald head. McMahon then fell off the chair in disgust. McMahon left the ring and walked up the ramp upset as Austin drank beer with Trump and Lashley. Austin then gave Trump a Stunner! Austin smiled after he did this to the delight of the crowd in Detroit.

There is no way Trump would have put on a show like that. I’m surprised he could even mask his disgust of cracking a beer. Oh well, Trump without a comb over. The prospect was nice while it lasted.

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