This Suit Is Not Black: OJ: A Great Way to Start the Day

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Wednesday, March 7, 2007

OJ: A Great Way to Start the Day

Since there aren’t enough subplots surrounding this whole Anna Nicole Smith death/burial/daughter’s daddy situation, I’m happy that another name has entered the mix in the paternity suit. OJ Simpson, a man whose personal and professional judgment should never be questioned, has reportedly tossed "his hat into the ring" for Dannylynn.

Back in 1994 during the filming of Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult, and just before all hell broke loose on CourtTV, Smith allegedly had a sip of the juice, if ya know what I’m sayin. Simpson’s also apparently a fan of the Bahamas - nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Well, O.J. tells this Norm Pardo guy – who seems to be the Juice's personal videographer – who turns and tells Page Six that “[Simpson] knew Anna Nicole pretty well, and he said he had slow-moving sperm, and he might be the father.” Well that just discounts his claim right there, doesn’t it? I mean, there’s no way that a man who had such a successful career in running could have such slow-moving sperm. Regardless, I wouldn't put the possibility of sexual relations past either of them. I'd only question how timely Simpson's claim is. I mean, 13 years is some really slow sperm.

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