It's Like The Bachelor

It's safe to say that James Dolan has spent his entire tenure with the Knicks doing everything in his power to make life really, really hard for himself.* In upwards of 12 years, it's been almost impossible not to find fault with any decision the man has made. But with one move, Dolan has seemingly shattered our completely accurate conceptions of him.

Dolan announced earlier this week that he's appointed Phil Jackson as president of basketball operations. And not only that, but Dolan says he's "willingly and gratefully" giving Phil the reins. And by the sounds of the New York Times, Dolan hit up some relationship counseling and put what he learned to work over the past few months.

Dolan and Jackson first spoke at a friend's party, where they spent close to two hours talking in a private room. There, they made plans to rendezvous a second time, after the busy holiday season. What ensued was a covert affair via phone and email that flourished into a Bachelor-like whirlwind romance, complete with a private jet and an ATV excursion.

Here's where shit gets real, though: roughly a measely 15% of the Bachelor series' relationships are still in tact. And this isn't the first time Dolan has promised to give up control. Does all this mean that Dolan is in for yet another doomed relationship? All we can really do is tune in for what might be the most exciting season in his career to date.




*...and the somehow still loyal fanbase.

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Big Tits Not Popular in Beijing

Not everyone likes big tits, apparently. News to me.

Sailing champions Ben Rhodes and Stevie Morrison will be representing their fellow Brits in Beijing this summer ... as long as they change the name of their boat (ship? whatever). You see, the guys have a tradition of naming their boats after songs. Only choosing "Jackie Big Tits" by The Kooks ain't going over so well, no matter how good of a song it is (and it's great, for the record).

Olympic officials don't think it's appropriate, although I can't imagine why. Wouldn't advertising "Big Tits" bring in more viewers? That's what FanHouse taught me this week.

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Ricco Fails.

Riccardo Ricco, the Italian cyclist who tested positive for EPO during the Tour de France, has come forward and apologized for his mistake. The 24-year-old made a statement after his closed-door hearing with the Italian Olympic Committee's anti-doping prosecutor Ettore Torri today.

"What I did during the Tour is done. I made a mistake and the mistake is only mine," Ricco said. "I have always won with my own legs. Unfortunately, I've made a mistake and I will pay for it."

I wonder, though, if what Ricco did qualifies as a mistake. Based on the definition of "mistake," Ricco would have had to have acted through carelessness, insufficient knowledge or a misunderstanding. I'm pretty sure that, in taking a banned substance to improve his performance, his decision was thought out and calculated and that he had a full understanding of what could happen if he were caught.

Look, there are a lot of stupid people [myself not excluded] who make mistakes on the regular, but are innocent in their actions, however dumb they may be. Ricco's decision was wrong , but should he seek sympathy by calling it a mistake?

I'd rather he just said, "Look, I'm sorry I tried to cheat." And failed.

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This Is Late But I Don't Care

Isiah Thomas is leaving quite a legacy in Madison Square Garden. But the Knicks' coach is apparently leaving a legacy at home as well. His 19-year-old son was arrested for underage drinking.

Joshua Thomas - known more awesomely as DJ Zeke - was arrested early last Tuesday after being treated at a Bloomington, Indiana hospital for a swollen eye. He allegedly became "belligerent" when police were asking him about how he got the injury - which came while drinking at a bar with a fake I.D. Witnesses said that Thomas, a student at Indiana University, was asked by an unidentified man if he were gay and when Thomas replied, "No," the man hit him with either a fist or a bottle.

People in Bloomington and I agree, fists look a lot like glass bottles. Regardless, Little Zeke was arrested on misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct, illegal consumption of alcohol, being a minor in a tavern and for his father shitting all over the Knicks franchise. I may or may not have made up one of those charges.

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Homgren Returns

I know I’m a little late on this, but Mike Holmgren announced Tuesday that he’ll be returning for one more season with the Seahawks. “This will be my last year,” he said. “We are going to make it the best year ever.”

The 59-year-old veteran of 16 seasons as an NFL head coach announced his decision Tuesday to fulfill the final year of his contract, after spending the weekend with his wife at their offseason Arizona home.

It took a whole weekend at home with his wife for him to realize he didn’t want to be there. That's sweet.

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