I Bet He Did It On Purpose

Some British singer sang about his penis at last Wednesday’s EURO 2008 qualifier between Croatia and England and now Croat fans are calling for the guy to be given a Medal of Honor. True Story.

Tony Henry attempted to sing Croatia’s National Anthem but botched a line. Instead of singing the phrase, “You know, My Dear, how we love your mountains,” Henry belted out, “My Dear, my penis is a mountain.” And devoted fans soberly came to the conclusion that that’s why Croatia won the game, subsequently ending England’s hopes of advancing to EURO 2008 next June.

Croat players like Manchester City's Vedran Corluka and Arsenal target Luka Modric started looking at each other and grinning when they realised what he was singing.

Croat fan websites have been calling for Henry to be given a medal of honour for helping the players relax, they also want him made an official team mascot for the tournament.

Listen, I’m a fan of the penis just as much as the next Croatian, but even I have to draw the line at the Medal of Honor, EURO 2008 or no EURO 2008.

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Dream a Little Dream

Sometimes I hate being in New York. And you know why? For the same damn reason everyone else in the country hates being in Boston. The sports fans. Because now, with the final game of the season approaching, I have the privilege of hearing Giants fans clucking behind cubicle walls about how their team is going to take down the Patriots in Week 16. With five weeks to go, I'm already sick of hearing it.

And here’s why.

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TV Sucks. Here's Why

The roster has been announced for The Donald’s upcoming show Celebrity Apprentice, and to be honest, that word "celebrity" is used in the loosest possible terms. Like any of these “celebrity” reality shows, it’s mainly filled up with has-beens and publicity whores.

Remember Jennie Finch? Of course you don't…at least, not for anything she’s done since the 2004 Athens Olympics when she was hot and led the softball team to its third straight gold medal in Athens while being a hot girl. New York is more of a celebrity then Finch, which disgusts me just as much as you'd imagine.

The other celebrity athletes include Ultimate Fighting Champion Tito Ortiz – that’s fine, but more people have seen his girlfriend’s fah-gina than any of his fights; Nadia Comaneci (who?) - the first gymnast ever to be awarded a perfect score of 10 at an Olympic event. It was in Montreal. And it was in 1976. Finally, there’s boxer Lennox Lewis - I won’t argue with this one as he’s the most famous of the athletes. Plus, I’m scared to say anything bad about him.

Screw TV for making these F-List shows that I get addicted to. Using the term “celebrity” is such a fucking tease. They make me hate myself.
That being said, my money’s on Tiffany Fallon, aka Playboy's 2005 Playmate of they year, as the first person to go home. Any takers?

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Vick's In Jail!

It's almost like Christmas came early here at This Suit Is Not Black. Michael Vick took everyone by surprise and turned himself in to U.S. Marshalls three weeks early to begin serving his prison sentence. The Atlanta quarterback was expected in court December 10th to find out exactly how much time he'd be spending behind bars, but he decided to head in early.

There's plenty of possible reasons for his decision - to get leniency from the judge during sentencing, to avoid the holiday with the family. Hell, out of boredom. But, jokes aside, Vick may have made a fairly decent decision here. He's facing up to five years in prison, which in Federal sentencing speak usually means he'll only get anywhere from 12 to 18 months behind bars. If he Vick starts serving now - as opposed to waiting for December - and he gets sentenced to the 18 months, he would be out in mid-May 2009 with two months to get ready for training camp.

It sounds like there was a decent amount of thought behind this decision, which clearly discounts Vick as having a part in it. Past actions prove that he has trouble seeing the "big picture."

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A Special Announcement

I would like to take this time to wish a Happy Birthday to a very special, very important person in my life: me.

Without me, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I truly hope that all my wishes come true and that I have a very blessed, special and happy birthday.

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Isn't Her Sister a Designer?

The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) and the Sony Ericsson WTA Tour announced yesterday the selection and funding of women's leadership programs in Cameroon, Liberia, China, Jordan, and the Dominican Republic. There will also be a new global advertising campaign that will promote the goal of gender equality.

And in Spain Wednesday to help launch the effort was Venus Williams, who did her own promotion of gender equality by dressing like a man. Seriously...she sported jeans with a blazer-tshirt combo and what looks like no make up at all.

Her sister Serena, you know - the designer - must have been appalled when she saw what Venus looked like. Normally the two try so hard to cover up their manliness. What's the deal?

Images via Bossip

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How Do You Say “Curse” En Espanyol?

Remember that whole “Madden Curse” thing? It’s gone international.

Just when we thought we were in the clear with Vince Young remaining healthy, EA Sports decided to go and help the NFL’s attempt to take over the world. The video game company announced a Spanish version of Madden 08 last month. The only difference - besides, of course, the language - is the cover. Young was replace by Chargers defensive end Luis Castillo. He’s Spanish, you see, like the people who will be playing the game.

So besides celebrating a 4-4 record, what’s Castillo up to now?

Why, he’s out for six weeks following surgery on his ankle Monday.

And the curse lives.

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The Colts Cheated Did Not Cheat?

I'm not really sure if the Patriots thought that this was going to help their image at all, but they were the latest organization to complain about the Colts piping in crowd noise at the RCA Dome Sunday. Jonathan Kraft even approached the NFL Vice President of Security about the issue after the game. And he apparently wasn't the only one who noticed:

Observers at the game said there seemed to be a "skip" in the sound during the game Sunday, which the Patriots won 24-20. That might confirm the long-held suspicion among many people in the NFL that the Colts play loud crowd noise to help distract opponents when the other team is on offense.

NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said that the league was aware of the complaints and was looking into the situation. And after doing so, it seems that CBS stepped up to the plate and took the blame for the Colts after audio of the "crowd CD" skipping hit the web. Quothe Aiello:

CBS has informed us that the unusual audio moment heard by fans during the Patriots-Colts game was the result of tape feedback in the CBS production truck and was isolated to the CBS broadcast. It was in no way related to any sound within the stadium and could not be heard in the stadium.

That still doesn't explain the "observers at the game" complaining of hearing the noise skip. Whatever. All I know is that Colts fans can't possibly be so loud, what with shoveling food into their mouths.

Believe what you want, but whether it's the Patriots are cheating or their opponents, they're still going to win. Just bend over and wait till it's all over, guys.

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Is A-Rod Really That Greedy?

I don't understand why Alex Rodriguez is made out to be the bad guy in negotiations with the New York Yankees. Honestly, the guy's demands weren't all that outrageous.

Oh. Nevermind.

Sources are telling ESPN that Rodriguez opted out of his contract with the Yanks because their offer fell juuuuuuuust short of what he and agent Scott Boras were looking for. About $100 million short.

The source told the World Wide Leader that the team was willing to offer Rodriguez an extension close "to five years and $150 million to begin at the conclusion of his 2008-2010 contract, through which he would have earned $81 million. [This proposal would have made A-Rod] about $230 million over eight years, and during the last five years of the contract, sources say, he would have earned the highest annual salary in Major League Baseball history." Nope, not for our little A-Rod. Boras told the team that they would have to offer up an extension that would equal at least $350 million total or no talkie.

Because being the highest played ball player with a new luxury jet just isn't enough for the man who averaged 0.157 at the plate in his last three post season appearances.

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