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Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Skaters are Hot

This is a commercial shot for DC Shoes, a company that produces mainly skateboarding shoes and snowboarding boots and outergear. And this is their skateboarding team, which would also make a pretty bad ass basketball team.

If $20,000 wasn't over half of my yearly salary, I'd certainly wager on these guys over Agent Zero.

You can see the video at www.dcshoes.com as well. Skaters are hot.

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It definitely took balls, which she has a-plenty, when Pat Summitt came out with the Tennessee cheerleaders last night. Donned in some goofy hat on, with which she attempted to cover Dick Vitale’s face, she sang what I’m assuming is the Volunteers fight song, all while wearing a skirt…a very clear reminder as to why women over a certain age don’t wear them. Regardless, the estrogenless one gave us a little glimpse up said skirt – guh – as she climbed on top of a cheerleader pyramid to throw up a big “V”. All the while, Peyton Manning watched on in approval. Did it, however, one-up Bruce Pearl’s shirtless “V”? You tell me.

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I'd Rather See Livingston's Injury Again

Remember how Bruce Pearl showed his support of the Lady Vols a few weeks ago? Remember that? Well, apparently it’s Pat Summitt’s chance to return the favor tonight as the men face the Florida Gators. And I, for one, am not rooting for the shirtless “V”.

Summitt promises she will be “out of character,” which means for one night only, she won’t be dressed like a man. Instead, according to The Fanhouse, she’s hinting that she’ll be dressed as a cheerleader.

A male cheerleader?

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If Not Peace, Why Not Baseball?

I would like to wish the new Israeli Baseball League much luck in its venture. Especially with Dan Duquette as the league's new Director of Baseball Operations. Duquette was the GM of the Toronto Expos and the Boston Red Sox and, I mean, look how well he did with those two teams. Why wouldn't you want to put him in charge of an entire league?

Regardless, it was announced today that six teams will compete in the inaugural season starting June 24th. They’ll play 45 seven-inning games in eight weeks, including a championship. Former major leaguers to make the jump to the Israeli league include Ken Holtzman, Art Shamsky, and Ron Blomberg. And

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Monday, February 26, 2007

He Can't Be Killed

I'm not really sure which angle to take on this guy, but Olympic wrestling champion Rulon Gardner survived his third life-threatening accident this weekend. Honestly, is he cursed because, clearly, someone keeps trying to finish him off? Or is he blessed because he's come out alive through hell and high water?

Gardner, with brothers Randy and Leslie Brooks, was rescued Sunday after their plane crashed into 44 degree water on Saturday. According to the release, the men swam for over an hour to shore in 44 degree water where they spent the night without shelter, and not one suffered life-threatening injuries. "What's the big deal with that?" you ask. According to ranger Steven Luckesen, “It only takes about 30 minutes for someone swimming in 44 degree water to start suffering the effects of hypothermia, so the fact that they swam in it for an hour, not to mention surviving the plane crash and the night without fire or shelter, is pretty amazing.”

Gardner also got stranded in Wyoming while snowmobiling in 2002. He lost a toe to frostbite but was rescued. And in 2004 he survived getting hit by a car on a motorcycle. By my count, he’s got four lives left. But, honestly, with this guy, who knows.

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Friday, February 23, 2007

Dominic Rhodes Can't Control Himself

An interesting tidbit of info from indystar.com regarding Dominic Rhodes’s drunk driving arrest last weekend: he peed himself in the police car.

Now, okay, we’ve all heard stories of people who were “SO drunk” that they peed themselves. But Rhodes only had a 0.09 blood-alcohol level, just over the 0.08 legal limit, so his decision or lack of control perplexes me. Maybe he thought it would be better than adding an arrest for peeing in public?

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This is Fair?

The All English Club announced Thursday that it’s leveling the prize money between the men and women at Wimbledon, finally heeding to the complaints of the loudest voices in the crowd. Well now, aren't they just the cat’s pajamas.

But let me ask this: since when is it right for any employee, regardless of trade, to earn more than his or her colleague for doing less work? Would it be right if I worked six hours a day while my coworker did the same job for eight at the same salary? This isn’t an equal rights issue, this is sexism in sheeps clothing.

In no way should the women, who only play best of three-set matches, be given the same earning potential as the men, who compete under the same dead heat of summer in best of five-set matches. The people who put the pressure on the All England Club to equalize the prize money should first have fought to equalize the playing field.

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Seems to be the case, anyway. But I could be wrong. Or just mean.

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Thursday, February 22, 2007

All Together, Now: Manny Being Manny

I love the Red Sox. And I love Manny Ramirez, even if he makes up a family emergency to go to a car show.

Sox GM Theo Epstein said that Ramirez has an excused absence and will report late to spring training because he’s with his mother in Florida who just recently had surgery. But, oops, Manny is scheduled for a car auction appearance in New Jersey this Saturday. There is the distinct possibility that Ramirez scheduled the auction before realizing it was spring training, forgot about it, planned to see his mother, got his absence approved, and then got a call reminding him about the appearance. This is Manny, people. Or he could have planned to see his mother, fly up for the car show thinking no one would find out and then fly back down to Florida. Or maybe he just got Florida mixed up with New York and didn’t think the drive over the bridge would be a big deal.

I don’t care if he goes to a car auction, a boat show or to buy a Big Wheel. As long as he’s at bat in a Red Sox uniform come opening day, I’m all set.

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Hardaway Slowly Being Erased

The backlash continues for Tim Hardaway with his name being stripped from his car wash in Florida.

Now, I'm not really sure how much of an emotional investment the former NBA star had in the car wash - let's face it, who can understand anything about the man - but a local gay rights group was having none of it. It called for a boycott of Tim Hardaway’s US1 Finest Hand Car Wash after his “I hate gay people” remarks on a local sports radio talk show. This past Saturday a new sign was revealed: Grand Luxe Auto Bathe.

Gayer Classier sounding already.

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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Condom Company Cashes In on Brady!

Via The Fanhouse

A California condom company is cashing in on Patriot QB Tom Brady’s recent situation. Its mascot, Condom Man from condomMan.com is delivering 2,000 condoms to the 3-time Super Bowl champion. “While Tom Brady has proven himself to be a hero on the football field,” website owner Kevin Mirarchi said, “something told me that he needs the help of a superhero off the field right now.” Something tells me he could have used that superhero three months ago. But that’s just science.

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Spears Offered Dream Vacation

Nothing like capitalizing on one person’s misery for shameless self-promotion…it’s practically the American Dream. And the Syracuse Crunch, an AHL team, are doing all they can in the churning wake of Britney Spears’ meltdown last weekend. The club has offered up a ticket to one lucky lady willing to shave her locks. And, as if that’s not enough, they’ve offered Spears herself an all expenses paid trip to the sunny, island destination sub-freezing tundra of Syracuse.

The Crunch believes Syracuse would provide the perfect escape for Spears with the city still digging out from a storm that dumped as much as eight feet of snow on upper New York.

Mm, you’re right. That does sound fun.

The Crunch also assure that there won’t be paparazzi within 100 miles because, well, normally that’s the case with it being Syracuse and all. But you can’t tell me Us Weekly hasn’t already shipped some intern out there with a camera attached to his face in the slim chance that she’d show up. Or that her mother would scope out the Holiday Inn the team picked out. You know, just in case that rehab thing doesn’t work out so well.

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Babineaux Hates Other People's Animals

Atlanta Falcon Jonathan Babineaux was arrested Monday on a felony account of animal abuse in what's turning into a string of abuse incidents. It seems that Babineaux, known by neighbors for taking better care of his animals than Ron Artest, doesn't care nearly as much for other people's animals.

Blair Anderson, Babineaux's girlfriend, brought her dog, Kilo, to an animal emergency center where he was pronounced dead on arrival. According to Anderson, she and Babineaux had a fight after which she went to a movie. When she returned she found the year-and-a-half old pit bull mix in “severe physical distress.” Babineaux met with police at the hospital where he gave police a story that “was inconsistent with the information about the dog’s injuries provided by the animal hospital.” The info with which the NFLer's story conflicts indicates Kilo died from a massive blow to the head. Babineaux was arrested.

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Kerry Wants his Ortez!

The man who called Manny Ramirez by the wrong name is pissed that he can’t watch his Red Sox. Massachusetts Senator and the guy who lost to Dubya, John Kerry is taking a stand in this whole MLB-to-DirecTV debacle. He’s even gone so far as to ask FCC Chairman Kevin Martin to investigate the proposed deal that will hang almost a quarter of a million baseball fans who currently subscribe to “Extra Innings” out to dry. “A Red Sox fan ought to be able to watch their team without having to switch to DirecTV,” he said in a recent statement. You tell ’em John. What would a fan do if unable to watch the great Manny Ortez?

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The Mormons Hate USC Hockey

North Park police sergeant John Italasano said Saturday, “hockey’s a wild game. Sometimes things get out of hand.” And he’s right. It’s not really a hockey game unless some fisticuffs are thrown. Or, in this case, the goalie rides his stick around while slapping his bare ass in front of a bunch of Mormons.

USC’s goalie Mickey Meyer was ticketed for lewdness in a 6-4 consolation loss to Brigham Young University. The junior “rode his stick like a horse, dropped his bulky pants, mooned the crowd and slapped his buttocks” during the game. Meyer’s display took place while play while referees were trying to sort out penalties in the third period.

I can’t imagine much will come of this, what with USC only having a volunteer coach and the fact that the prosecutor, when informed of the incident, laughed.

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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Too Much Work for One Tuesday

Ah yes, the Tuesday after a long weekend, inevitably soiled with the need to play catch up. So I do apologize for the lack of posts today. Or yesterday, or all weekend, for that matter. But as my day is slowly winding down, it begins to look up. I just got a tentative invite to the Knicks game at the Garden tonight, which stands to be my first live NBA experience. I’m My friend is important enough to have gotten us into a suite, which on one side makes the players look like ants and I’d miss one heck of a night at the bar. But on the other very appealing side of that coin is free food. And let’s be honest, the only reason I go anywhere is for the food.

A wonderful evening wished upon you all. Good luck at trivia.

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Friday, February 16, 2007

Foulke Retires Quits

Mr. I Haven’t Been Good Since 2004 is quitting since, you know, he hasn't been good since 2004.

Keith Foulke, whose clutch performances clinched the 2004 World Series for the Boston Red Sox, told the Cleveland Indians today that he plans to retire. Foulke just signed with the Indians this offseason as a free agent but recently felt pain in his elbow. After two injury-riddled shitty seasons, he’s ending his 10 year career.

As much as I love and will never forget what Foulke did for the Red Sox in 2004, I was happy to see him go. And I'm sure Cleveland fans will be much happier with Joe Borowski on the mound with a one-run lead. Or a nine-run lead.

Thanks to SoxSpace for this one via Rotoworld.

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Thursday, February 15, 2007

Tim Hardaway Hates The Gays

Tim Hardaway hates gay people. He said so on Sports Talk 790 The Ticket in Miami. I’ll just let him speak for himself:

You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known. I don’t like gay people and I don’t like to be around gay people…First of all, I wouldn’t want him on my team. And second of all, if he was on my team, I would, you know, really distance myself from him because, uh, I don’t think that is right. I don’t think he should be in the locker room while we are in the locker room.

Ya, that pretty much sums it up.

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Pfft...You Call Yourself "Best in Show"

Congratulations, Diamond Jim, on being primped and pampered for your big win at the Westminster Dog Show. But have you ever done something useful? Contributed to society? Like, I don't know, save a life? Well pay attention, Fido, because you’ve got nothing on Katie Bell.

Katie’s the type of dog that knows there's more to life than being really, really good looking. She's a blue collar dog from Kenton, Ohio that woke her owner and his fiancee at 4am Sunday morning to alert them of a fire in their home. The couple lost some irreplaceable things, but saved their lives by climbing out the bedroom window. And I bet she’s got more class than to celebrate by eating off the floor.

You're Best in Show in my book, Katie.

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Jordan's Mistress Loves Black, Married Men!

Nothing says Valentine’s Day quite like stealing someone else’s husband…at least, as far as I’m concerned. Lisa Micelli agrees, and that’s why she spoke with MediaTakeOut.com yesterday. She confided in the site all about her relationship with Michael Jordan, and even how he paid her after their first time together in 1999…a whopping $60 cash! She says it was probably for a cab ride. I say he probably thought she was a whore who wasn’t worth much more. But hey, assume what you want.

Regardless, at the end of the interview, Micelli addresses the black women who are upset at her for dating Jordan (because he’s a black man, mind you, and that's the big issue, not the fact that he’s married with kids or anything) saying, “It’s Michael’s choice – if he wants to be with white women, then that’s what he’s going to do.”

And Micelli, who’s turning home wrecking into quite the little career, continues to make her own grown-up choices as well. It seems that the old saying holds true: “once you go married you never go back,” or some such thing. She told the site that she recently had an affair with another black celebrity with the initials BK. The site promised Lisa that it wouldn’t give up a name – scruples, you know – but says the B-List actor has an actress wife who just had the couple’s second child. Any guesses?

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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Weis Almost Died; Is Still Fat

I didn’t know this because, well, it's kind of hard to tell, but Charlie Weis had gastric bypass surgery in 2002.

Now, I’m no doctor - mainly because I’m not smart enough - but even I have to make sure all loose ends are tied up before I head home on Friday, and I work in radio. If something goes wrong during Saturday night’s show I’m definitely going to have to handle it. Mass General doctor Charles Ferguson doesn’t see that as the case. His weekends are his weekends, and if something wasn't done properly, it'll just have to wait until Monday. He performed Weis’ surgery and then went home, leaving Weis to bleed internally for 30 hours until Dr. Richard Hodin performed the follow up surgery.

Weis is suing the two for malpractice because, after all, he's still fat he could have died.

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Monday, February 12, 2007

ESPN Going Lax on Dress Code

The guys over at The Big Lead were able to get their hands on an internal memo from ESPN to its employees regarding the company dress code. Most of the items were pretty generic: no ripped or torn clothing, no mid-drift exposing tops, etc. One thing I did find peculiar was the “no high heels” policy. Not really sure why and, honestly, I’d have ignored it anyway. You can’t deny a girl her shoes, sports or no sports. They also kindly demand that you dress appropriately for the weather and recommend neat, casual attire.

But it seems they’ve lightened up, as this is an updated version of what I was slapped with back in my (albeit short) heyday at the WWL. See, in my day we specifically told to leave our leotards at home. Needless to say I was pissed.

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Sunday, February 11, 2007

The Red Carpet Highlight Reel

The favorite part of the Grammy’s for me is the Red Carpet Pre Show. I mean honestly, if I wanted to watch the Billboard Awards I would. Anyway, I couldn’t be more proud of my predictions finally coming to fruition (I should run that network): Bye-bye to Kathy Griffin, Star Jones and Isaac Mizrahi. The E! Red Carpet show was the best I’ve seen in a while. I was impressed that Ryan Seacrest does, in fact, have a few reporting skills. He didn’t shy away from asking the uncomfortable questions, specifically with the Dixie Chicks, who went on to perform in front of what I assume was the largest crowd since their fallout, and show sincere shock and humility while accepting their Grammys (yes, as in "more than one"). It was entertaining, overall, and so, in a Top 10 fashion, I’ve put together my own highlight reel. Enjoy.

1.) I’m so used to hating Christina Aguilera’s entire wardrobe choice that I was surprised to only hate her hair. As for her dress, it was gorgeous. Except for the panty line.

2.) Honestly, Pink, a dress does not a woman make. Worst. Transvestite. Ever.

3.) Fergie, or Stacy Ferguson, showed up looking great as usual from the neck down. The outfit was missing one essential accessory thought, but with a body like that no one’s looking at her face anyway.

4.) Scarlett, who we learn later is recording her first album (*MISTAKE*MISTAKE*MISTAKE*MISTAKE*) refused to admit that she isn’t dating Justin Timberlake. Instead she answered the question without actually answering it…simply stating that she doesn’t pay attention to tabloid fodder. Good for her, but Giuliana never pulled the actual answer out of her. Regardless, Johansson better keep her damn hands off.

(And speaking of Justin, he was the artist chosen for the inaugural and possibly last “My Grammy Moment” contest, in which he’ll perform a duet with one lucky contestant who will be voted for and announced during the show. I don’t expect him to be rude to any of the contestants or anything, he’s too greatful for his fans to do something like that, but one rumor passed to me by an insider is that he was pretty pissed with his management that they agreed to this stunt without first asking him. Whether or not that holds true, he’s doing it, and he’ll have no problem charming anyone…that’s something he just can’t help.)

5.) John Legend…I’m sorry, but he just can’t go wrong.

6.) I don’t think Paula Abdul was drunk, which was a nice change. But, if you were paying attention between her and Seacrest spewing about American Idol, she alluded to Paul McCartney’s history of blowing off American Idol as a special guest. She cut herself off before giving too much away, but it’s still fun to speculate. I say, good job, Sir Paul. Run from that show. And run fast.

7.) Honestly, people. What's Beyonce got that I ain’t got? Beauty? Talent? A hot body and great personality? Psh…I’ve got all that. Well, maybe not. But try taking all that away from her and see what you’d be left with. A big. Fat. Nothing. That’s what.

8.) It was great to see Bella Fleck and the Flecktones get camera time …even a few cut away shots. And we found out later that they won a Grammy last night…congrats, guys. Much deserved.

9.) John Mayer was looking less pasty than usual. He was also without Jessica Simpson (who has no place at the Grammy’s. Or the Oscars for that matter). No word as to who he was with later in the night. He speaks Japanese. And he asked the impossible: for Seacrest act like a man.

10.) The show ended with an interview with Quentin Tarantino who proves that being insane can, in fact, be functional and cool. And then he said that Paula Abdul looked hot in her dress. And he new who Jay Manuel was. Jay is Tyra’s right-hand woman on America’s Next Top Model. And he’s fabulous. As is Quentin.

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Friday, February 9, 2007

Mayo Out for Three Games

O.J. Mayo, probably the nation’s top high school basketball player from Huntington High in West Virginia, is suspended for three games stemming from an ejection and contact with a referee during a game on January 26th. You can see in the video that Mayo may have been a bit aggressive - hell, I would be too if I just had back-to-back technicals called on me for what seemed like no reason, but the sanction was agreed upon by the Secondary School Activities Commission, Mayo’s attorney, and Huntington High School.

Huntington principal Greg Webb wanted Mayo punished, according to Mayo’s lawyer, because “student-athletes at Huntington are held to a high standard of conduct, and the principal felt that some discipline was in order.” The SSAC agreed to have its mandatory two game suspension run concurrently with a three game suspension imposed by Webb. Mayo can attend school, practice and games during the suspension.

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Grossman Celebrates Loss with Bunnies

Rex Grossman, the lucky bastard whose team carried him to the Super Bowl, earns more than his yearly base salary in a bonus for essentially sucking ass. And what does he do with the $1 million? He blows blows it on himself with some Playboy Bunnies in Vegas, while the rest of Chicagoans remain in mourning. Granted, he has every right to shake off this past season anyway he chooses, don't get me wrong. But couldn't he have given something back to the community of Chicago since the masses, you know, blame him for the loss?

Maybe he could have, I don’t know, donated money to a local Chicago charity? That’s just a suggestion. Or, hey, how about this? How about he puts the money towards the contract of the Bears next quarterback? Food for thought, that's all I'm sayin.

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Pre-Olympic Competition in China

A Chinese zoo is running a Big Brother style competition during which contestants have to live in a cage with monkeys. The province of Shaanxi, PETA will be happy to learn, is encouraging the project so that the six contestants can “experience the lack of freedom animals have.”

Excuse me, please. Lay around all day and have other people prepare all of your meals and clean up after you? That’s lack of freedom? Please…I’d like to see these apes be forced to wake up early only to unwillingly have to leave their cage for a place with four solid walls, re-circulated air and no windows, be timed for lunch, which they’ll provide for themselves, only to go home to go to sleep and wake up and do it all over again. And when they aren’t compensated enough, they still have to give part of their pay to the zoo keepers.

If you’re between the ages of 18 and 60, “in good psychological condition with animal protection and survival knowledge,” you may enter. And if you’re the last one standing you could leave with about $1500, which is almost certainly not worth it at all.

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Thursday, February 8, 2007

Irvin Wasn't Lying...

Remember how Michael Irvin blew off his interviewing duties with me to film a TV commercial for a church? Well, thanks to Deadspin, I think I found that church.

How does God get the attention of a three-time Super Bowl winner? Join us as
Michael Irvin, now an ESPN host, shares his story of God’s amazing game plan in
his life – from life’s tackles to interceptions and finally to victory in

I still have yet to find a copy of the commercial, but it better be good. Regardless of commercial quality, tho, you can live at the Henderson Campus February 24th and 25th.

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Anna Nicole is Dead

Anna Nicole Smith was found unconscious in her hotel room at the Hard Rock Cafe and Casino today and rushed to the hospital. CPR was performed on the scene and a fire department spokesman reported that she was unresponsive. It was confirmed just moments ago that she has died.

Nothing to do with sports, but I've never really reported breaking news before and I wanted to see what it feels like.

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T.O.: Portrait of Delusion

Terrell Owens, always ready to defend his honor, called into the sports radio station 610 WIP in Philadelphia Tuesday to confront host Howard Eskin for “talkin smack about him.” The short of it is that Owens was getting calls from [people he describes as] friends about Eskin talking about him on the show. The two clearly have had problems in the past and what results is 28 minuts and 24 seconds of Owens running in verbal circles. And it's great.

One highlight that I'll mention was when Eskin says to Owens, “Everywhere you go it becomes a problem.” To which Owens – truly baffled – responded, “What problems?!” Honestly, he was shocked. Owens has convinced himself that he has never been the cause of any problems anywhere. I sometimes wish I had that kind of self assurance - delusional or not.

I would love to transcribe the interview for you - I imagine it looking something like the interviews over at Kissing Suzy Kolber - but you can grab the whole thing at www.benmaller.com.

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Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Sexy's Back in NYC

Tonight I am attending an event that holds much excitement for me. It only comes around every few years and I’ve been known to spend hundreds of dollars for tickets. Not this year, though. This year a good friend of mine paid my way as a 26th birthday present. Yes, I’m 26-years-old. And yes, I’m talking about the Justin Timberlake concert at Madison Square Garden.
But as I watch with an almost hyopnotic intensity as JT brings sexy back, I will also be missing one of my favorite games this year: UNC at Duke. Had I known on which night the concert was to fall, well…I would most definitely still be going. But that doesn’t mean I’m not a bit sad. I’ll be getting texts from my brother I’m sure, though. So don’t worry your pretty little head about me. But do check out this article about the game from Will Blythe over at Deadspin. It’s a must read.

And rumor has it that Andy Samberg will be making an appearance for a live performance of Dick in a Box. Although I don’t imagine that happening as I’m probably one of the oldest people attending the show. But fan-fucking-tastic if it does!

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Landis Still Fighting for Title

Honestly, I scanned through this article for the major points because I’m too bored with the sport to really get amped for a good cycling story, but YAHOO (all caps is almost like using an exclamation point, right?) is reporting that Floyd Landis will argue his case before the French anti-doping agency on Thursday. In his attempt to gain back his credibility, Landis “will be bidding to prove that sloppy testing by a French lab and not doping was the reason behind his failed test.” Well, the sloppy testing and the drinking. Brian Rafferty, of the Floyd Fairness Fund (fun with alliteration!) advisory board, said today they are confident that the case against Lloyd is not scientifically reliable. Let’s all hope it’s true. I’d take an alcoholic over a cheater any day.

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Thomas Fined by the Bulls

If earlier actions taken this season were any indication of how things are run over in Chicago, then really none of us should be surprised by this news. It seems that members of the upper management at the Chicago Bulls weren't all too thrilled over some Tyrus Thomas commentary regarding his participation in the NBA slam dunk contest. To be specific, he told reporters: “I’m just going to go out there, get my check and call it a day.” But since that kind of shit doesn't fly in Chicago, Thomas has been slapped with a $10,000 fine. Making him want to win all the more, I'm sure, if only to gain back what he’s lost.

Update: The Orlando Sentinel's Brian Schmitz is reporting that the NBA wants Ty out of the contest and to replace him with someone else. Thanks to The Fanhouse.

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A Warning to Super Bowl Partiers...

The Super Bowl is a day commonly filled with imbibing copious amounts of beer, wings and pizza. Smart people have learned to “pace themselves.” Other people have not. The following is an example – hypothetical example – of why you shouldn’t drink too much at your Super Bowl event next year. I would like to emphasize that this did not necessarily happen to me. But maybe it did.

  1. Hit snooze for 45 minutes
  2. Got up too late to shower. Replaced shower with half-assed ironing job in hopes to still look presentable
  3. Made lunch
  4. Grabbed bag - congratulated myself on double checking for ID, metrocard, and keys. Left apartment and lunch on counter
  5. Got to work only 17 minutes late
  6. Filled up 32oz. nalgene bottle with water - drank half while waiting for coffee to brew
  7. Called roommate and asked her to please, unplug the iron
  8. Checked new e-mail from boss addressing personal phone calls
  9. Realized lunch was on the counter at home, opted for nap in studios instead
  10. Stayed half an hour late to make up for the day's shortcomings
  11. Skipped gym to watch movie in bed instead. Fell asleep without setting alarm for following morning.

Again, this is a hypothetical example of why one would want to be more careful with ones drinking decisions and not play drinking games with jack daniels when one has important work to do the following day.

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Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Let the Heavens Rejoice!

It’s here! It’s finally here!
Out of the Ballpark, the debut children’s book from Alex Rodriguez hits stands today, so run right out and pick it up. And then drop it and turn your back on the register, hands on hips in frustration.

But I kid, I kid. The book quite cleverly follows the story of a young second baseman named “Alex” who, after making a key error in a game, starts to play worse because he puts too much pressure on himself. Who knew that A-Rod was such a fan of creative non-fiction?

Of course, everyone who worked with A-Rod on the project praised him, saying he was as meticulous while writing the book as he is on the baseball field. Let’s just hope the book steps up come October.

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Another Dumb Blonde

This being a sports blog and all, you may have ventured here for, well, “sports” news. But sometimes I like to make fun of girls who are hotter and dumber than I am. And since Jessica Simpson’s stupidity truly knows no bounds, I’m putting it front and center. In the latest news, Jess opens up to Elle about her decision to end her marriage with Nick Lachey. As it turns out, Nick can blame the demise of his marriage on Nicholas Sparks. That’s right, Jessica’s street smarts were in full effect again when they convinced her to admit that she decided to break off her marriage to Lachey after watching the movie The Notebook on a plane ride home to Texas. And I’m just going to leave it at that.

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Monday, February 5, 2007

I'll Never Live in Indianapolis

Is it really considered “celebrating” by today’s standards if there isn’t one or two good tasings involved? Reportedly, the champion city of Indianapolis was all family-friendly and well behaved last night during it’s “celebrations.” Quoth Yahoo(!) Sports:

Celebrants behind the wheel made victory laps around the monument erected to
remember Union victory in the U.S. Civil War. The brave took to the streets on
foot, pouring from downtown bars, only Colts jerseys between them and the frigid
night air, to wave blue and white victory flags…it was another benchmark in the
city's nearly 40-year campaign to reshape its sleepy "Naptown" image into that
of an international sports capital

I can’t imagine where that reputation came from. Do note, though, that police reported a few incidents of “celebratory gunfire.” It’s a start, I guess.

Oh, and congratulations to Manning and Dungy, et cetera, et cetera...

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Friday, February 2, 2007

Off to Super Bowl Forty-1!

Well, it’s Friday afternoon and I’m off for a weekend of fodder and fun reading while I wait tables. Although I was able to finagle myself out of work on Sunday (I have ways of feigning sincerity that I never knew possible) so that I, too, can partake in the gluttonous consumption of pizza, wings and beer. And I’m being told mac-n-cheese and bratwurst as well because of some Chicago tradition my friend claims to uphold. It's also because of said friend that I will be cheering for the Bears, but since I have no real emotional investment in the game, I’ve made what I hope to be a lucrative economic investment. I’ve entered a few of those popular “office pools”…two of those easy ones where you pick a random box and get assigned two numbers.

Pool One: Colts-Bears: 6-to-9 (And how! Don’t even try to tell me that’s not good luck!)

Pool Two: Bears-Colts: 8-to-1

You see, in these pools there’s no chance for a potentially “wrong” prediction, thus limiting the chances of my coworkers concluding that I’m not as brilliant as I lead them to believe. I wouldn’t want to disappoint them, after all. Plus, their conclusion would be WAY off and just embarrassing for all of us.

Happy Super Bowling and keep on Hoofing!

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Irvin Update

Unfortunately unbeknownst to me, we had Michael Irvin back on the phone yesterday to make good on his missed radio interviews. I would’ve loved to actually sit in and listen to his babble, but alas, I was chained down in my cubicle being “productive.” Methinks that the execs over at Spike TV realize that they need as much publicity as they can get from Pros V. Joes II, since the only reason Irvin came back for the interviews is because the network threatened to not pay him for the show. Well, it’s either that or Irvin is seriously expecting a hefty cut from this cash cow. But I’m going with theory number One.

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Thursday, February 1, 2007

Prince and the Revolution

With the Super Bowl right around the corner and all this talk about foosball going on, I want to take minute and remind everyone of what a kick ass baller the star of our Halftime show is. See, I’m at the age where the sturm und drang of ‘80s- era Prince is lost on me. I remember a bit of him…mostly his full body suits, and that eye contact was (still is?) a big no-no. But nothing about him quite got to me until the following video. Prince was the shit. Even in a onesie.

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Well, This is Fun

The Celtics tied a franchise record last night. Yea, that’s right. The record of sucking. With their 111-98 loss to the Lakers, Red Auerbach rolled over in his grave and they tied their record of most consecutive losses with lucky number 13. They’ve only accomplished this feat twice before, during the 1993-94 and 1996-97 seasons. That’s awesome. Congrats, guys. Oh. And Kobe, fresh off his one game suspension, kinda sorta tied his own record as well. He had his fourth career game with 40 or more points against Boston, scoring 43. God, it’s hard to remember when this match up was actually a good rivalry.

The guys fight for loss number 14 on Friday night against the Clippers.

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